The Things Not to Say to Someone Experiencing Infertility

Photo by Volodymyr Hryshchenko on Unsplash

When we talk about fertility, loss, or the decision not to have children, our words matter more than we realize.
In my clinical work as a therapist specializing in infertility and reproductive grief, I see how often well-intentioned comments can unintentionally wound. Phrases like “Just relax,” “It’ll happen when it’s meant to,” or “You could always adopt” may come from a place of care - but for someone in the depths of infertility or pregnancy loss, they can sting deeply.

This essay explores why certain common responses can be painful, what makes conversations about fertility so tender, and how we can all become more compassionate, trauma-informed companions to those navigating reproductive challenges. You’ll also find a quick guide for what to say instead - practical, kind, and heartfelt alternatives that help people feel seen and supported.

Read the rest of this essay on Substack!

If you’d like to learn more about how I support clients through infertility, grief, and reproductive loss, visit the About Me page.